london calling to the faraway towns

laura27 @ 2006-06-28T17:30:00

2006-06-28T21:30:19Z

finallyyyyy i got a cell phone...988-8314.

LEAVE YOUR NUMBERS.

kay, thanks, bye.

too much touching, not enough feeling

2006-06-02T17:52:33Z

there is so much living that needs to be done, right now.

laura27 @ 2005-09-25T20:11:00

2005-09-26T00:10:38Z

it's my birthday on friday. seventeen.

i'm not excited.

i'm in love.

2005-08-23T18:04:42Z

P.S. MADELEINE IS MY FAVORITE FRIEND EVER. SHE IS THE SUPER-DE-DUPEREST, BESTEST, MOST FUNNIEST, MOST CRAZIEST, MOST LOVELIEST GIRL EVER.

i hope thse pictures work

2005-07-09T03:00:34Z

laura27 @ 2005-06-18T22:34:00

2005-06-19T02:40:46Z

okay so it's been a crazy day. (as usual.)

alex fell and broke his wrist in two places at his soccer game. he has a cast that goes all the way over his elbow and now his summer of doing crazy sports is pretty much nonexistent. so we're sending him to math camp. just kidding. apparently tom mooseker did the same thing a long time ago. THEY'RE TWINS! that's cool.

i'm going to iowa tomorrow! IOWA! in less than like 8 hours or something ridiculous like that. and i'm flying all by myself! now i'm a little nervous. uh oh. plus, i'm far from being packed. anyway, i'll try to send out group emails so leave your address if you want to hear about all the midwestern guys that wear overalls and no underwear that i'm going to hook up with. or something.

HAVE FUN TAKING ALL YOUR FINALS, LOSERTRONS!
peace to yah mutha.
loveeee, lauraaaaaa

(P.S. b- i left all your shoes in a bag and told my family about them. stop by my house anytime and just ring the doorbell and pick them up!)

laura27 @ 2005-06-10T22:38:00

2005-06-11T02:51:24Z

I HATE BOYS.

Like, they suck. Period. I'm so sick of relationships or friendships or whatever they are's being so good and fun one second and then being completely weird the next second. What's up with that? What happened to the mutual feeling of hey, i enjoy your company and it seems like you enjoy mine, so, like, maybe, we should, um hang out? Hang out like friends. Hang out like have fun. That's not an epiphany folks, that's common sense. Work with me? Please? Anybody? Bueller? Boys are just stupid. Any member of the male species that wants to sway me, please comment. Anybody? Bueller? (Okay, I'm done; I swear.)

In other news, right now, my life is a

So that's what my entire room looks like right now. Is it better to have my life messier than my room or my room messier than my life?

Also, I've been a real witch lately. I hate everyone, and I say that about like 234238472384723 times a day. Sophomores are immature, boys are stupid, friends seem distant. Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm sick of Hamden. But you know what? People still aren't over the elections and I still feel like a loser. Whatever. I'm not going into that here.

In conclusion next week will be even worse. And I'm a mess and I really need Iowa more than ever right now.

(small pictures)

2005-06-05T02:47:34Z

great night.

great conversation.

great food.

great park.

great walter.

great

OMG RESEARCH PAPER IS DONE. 10 PAGES IN 2 DAYS.

2005-05-15T23:40:11Z

what is with me?

why don't i just tell you:

meals eaten in the past 2 days: 3
times left the house in the past 2 days: 1
caramel frapucinos drunk in the past 2 days: 3
homework done in the past 2 days: 1 3-page take the lead application with extracurricular hours nonsense, 1 10-page research paper
homework that needs to be done in the next 5 hours: 3 weeks' of acting journals, 1 chemistry post-lab, 2 days' of struggle homework

i feel like i need to say that something was priceless here, but nothing was. so shut up mastercard.

my room is going to be the best room ever. and if you want to see, you can just come over anytime and trample through my house with the rest of the citizens of spring glen.

this whole weekend i've wanted to go down to the house we rent in cape cod with a bunch of friends, party, and go in the freezing cold ocean at 3 o'clock in the morning. prom? or just me wanting to get away and have fun and not do homework. iowa? please.

this entry sucked.

shut up, laura. you're being as indecisive as the weather.

laura27 @ 2005-05-01T18:26:00

2005-05-01T22:57:02Z

ever since florida, i've been getting these sudden waves of tiredness that creep up to my body and then crash down upon my head, leaving me spinning. usually they come as i'm eating dinner, and my stomach begins to bloat, and i try to stop eating but i keep on nibbling anyway. suddenly i can't keep my head above water and i can't center myself and i feel like a gigantic mass of nothing with no purpose. so then i excuse myself and cuddle in my bed, alone, and try to resurface. it doesn't take too long until i'm back again, but they've been happening so often that i just need someone to throw me a rescue device, and save me from this infinite ocean.

well, that was figuratively speaking, or something.

i got into Iowa in florida, and i can't believe i really did it. i still can't shake this feeling that i don't really belong, but i'm trying to just be happy. maybe the midwest will be good for me, because it's an understatement to say that i need some wide open space. it seems this year i've not only grown out of my friends, but i've grown out of my body, my room, and my life.

april wasn't astounding, even though it was supposed to be. april was chaotic, hectic, and stressful. april began the up-down, turn-a-round, jump-in-place kinda life i seem to be living. there are perks and then there are depressions to being a wallflower. things are good and then things are bad and i swear to god, i really don't understand how that works.

mock trial was so bittersweet that i was crying and laughing at the same time, all at once, with a red face and tear-stained cheeks, my mouth in a frown and giggles escaping from it. the point is, is that we cried just a little and we laughed in the middle, but still we didn't make it. it's sad because we lost, it's sadder because we made it so far, but it's saddest because it's mr. schark's last year.

things are up and down and all around. i need spring, i need long walks, i need a clear head, i need to write until forever, i need good music, i need a cute boy, i need intelligent conversations, i need someone who cares about me, but all seem to be hiding behind the periodic table of elements.

in other news, man who came to dinner is awesome. i saw mamma mia! this weekend and it was, get ready for this, take a seat, and breathe... better than wicked. i'll expand if you ask me to in school. but i really have found that appreciation for the stage that seemed to be missing.

to finish, i just hope i can get through this week and this year without fainting, breaking down, looking up, isolating myself, finding myself, losing more friends, doing less homework, being ungrateful, making mistakes, having more panic attacks, unravelling completely or drowning in that infinte ocean. i hope you make it too, and, if you're willing, i hope you can be that rescue device and save me.

i'm good at ruining things

2005-03-19T18:49:16Z

there's a lump in my throat and it's not just from strep.

i'm tired and i've got too much work to do.

oh, but that was just...

laura27 @ 2005-03-08T20:15:00

2005-03-09T01:18:03Z

i think this winter breeds apathy. i think we all are a little lost inside of ourselves, tucked underneath sweaters and jackets and scarves. i think it's been too long since we let our hair loose and skipped on the grass with bare feet. i think we all need a little summer, a little sunshine.

Pink Sky

By: Laura Winnick

around 5 o’clock</st1:time>, I hid,

alone in the faded blue velour of the backseat,

at an age where the word dusk

felt too enigmatic to whisper aloud

so instead I let the sky

dictate its meaning

that hazy, flimsy shadow word

that snuck between the cloud’s covers

(the same way I did in my parents’ bed)

a wisp darting in and out of the marshmallow blankets

playing innocent hide-and-sneak until

it slam dunked into the shimmering sun,

the radiant star of the show, glowing infinitely,

the slam dunk triumph

a spontaneous chemical reaction

spilling the familiar pink color across the entire horizon

“pink sky” my father would say

nodding towards the windshield

never one to take either hand off of the steering wheel

“pink sky” my mother would agree immediately

turning the little twins’ heads

so they could witness the phenomenon

big eyes and small bodies searching for that color that would

part their lips and fill their stomachs-

you could eat that color; it was so strong.

“pink sky” my older brother would mumble,

slouching sarcastically into the seatbelt,

into a black hole away from the family

“pink sky”

and it would pass through the big blue van

in rippling waves until

it reached me, trapped in the backseat,

pleading with the tinted window, wishing on those two words

and their hopeful, yet unfulfilling, taste in my mouth

pink sky

and pinker still

the pink intensity that would increase and decrease

in one second, there and gone with the setting sun,

while I held my breath

wishing the pink would last-

wishing it would toss and tumble tipsy turvy across its blank canvas,

cartwheeling candidly and carelessly

painting precarious polka dotted potpourri

over our big blue van, and into our hearts,

wishing the pink would stay

before we all faded back

to a colorless sky.

p.s. i got second place in Thornton Wilder for this poem. i get 200 dolla. happiness.

moon for the misbegotten

2005-02-26T06:12:44Z

SILENCE. gigglegigglegigglegiggle. SNARF. gigglegigglegigglegigglegiggle. COUGHCOUGHCOUGH. gigglegigglegiggle. MOVE IN SEAT AND MAKE A WEIRD NOISE. gigglegigglegigglegiggle.

god, that was fun(ny).

laura's mom: "but really, it was so hard to stay quiet in that theatre. i almost felt like i couldn't breath!"

but, seriously, it was a good play.

i swear.

THINGS TO BE HAPPY ABOUT

2005-02-21T03:00:20Z

-Leah's mittens. Good lord, it was one of those moments where you just have uncontrollable giggles. Me-ow.
-DSPP. 11:30 dance party, holler!
-MISS PREEN X 48904567895678. Because I love this role. And this play is so funny. And I actually, truly, really, seriously, got in. I'm still in shock.
-I just downloaded Sibo's recommendation of Tori Amos "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and I've listened to it, oh, 570 times already. I'm excited to go through Sibo's entire livejournal and rape it of all music.
-Vacation. I can...relax? Weird. I've been running on pure adrenaline these past two weeks.
-Wanting to be friends with boys and nothing more.
-Amazingly, adoringly, fantastically cute bathing suits from Delia's.
-And those cute sandals from Urban that look like you would wear them with a toga.
-Both of which I will make my parents buy for me because I want them. Brat?
-My computer being back on the internet. I've already livejournal and myspace stalked all of my favorite people. If I need to know anything, I literally scream with joy when I open google in 0.2 seconds.
-Using the word google as a verb. Becuase I googled your mom. Except, wait, that's overrated. But your dad is underrated.
-FLORIDA IN APRIL. AND BEFORE THAT, WICKED APRIL 6TH.
-The idea of spring. That I can wear skirts and tank tops and sandals. And be tan.
Love, love, love!

basketball at night

2005-02-16T00:11:06Z

cold air, black night, trying to forget,

ignore everything but the night, everything but the present,

with a bright orange ball and an even brighter kid

bounce, bounce, bounce

it felt good to bond with alex

i couldn't ask for a better younger brother.

so i thought to myself, why don't i do this more often?

what has been stopping me from ignoring the catcalls of the night, soothing and infinite and omnipresent,

and the excited chatter of a sixth grader who was thrilled with the world?

did you know that Montrel is the funniest kid in school? he took sylvia's bag of potato chips, crushed them under his foot, gave them back, and said "eat foot" ?

giggle, giggle, giggle

do you remember sixth grade?

sixth grade was nail polish, TGIF, teacher's pet, and the threshold of innocence--

i bounced the ball harder, stronger, throwing all my anxieties into that faded, weared, and teared orange

fingers thawed pink, pinker than pink, pinker than orange, colder than cold,

continually dribbling, up and down and up and down,

pacing back and forth and back and forth--

who's on first, what's on second, i don't know's on third

this audition is so much more than a part in a play, but i'm not admitting that out loud.

who's on first, what's on second, i don't know's on third

i want it so bad. i want him so bad. no one knows.

competition. competing with the night and the air for possession of the ball, competing with beautiful for handsome, throwing myself vulnerably into the hoop....and missing.

it's nothing but net. sarcastic, but funny, as i miss again.

i can't play basketball. i can't get him. i can't win.

smack the ball, hit the pavement, return safely,

thud, thud, thud- who's. on. first.

i had so much control over that ball.

why can't i have that kind of control in my life?

bounce, bounce, bounce

pausing only to hold that ball and the silence of the street, in my buzzing fingers, looking up, hopefully, as a car speeded by--

was that him?

it was never him. it was the kid down the street, the garbage man, my neighbor who came home to an empty house with a child who said "papa has his own house now. i can go visit him." she spent valentine's day, which was her birthday, all by herself. her child still doesn't understood 'separated.'

why did he do that to her? why am i doing this to myself?

i haven't been able to concentrate all week. maybe i should go play some more basketball.

SO MUCH LIGHT

2005-02-13T20:04:22Z

i am going to miss radium girls so much.

i never thought i'd say it, but i freaking love that play.

laura27 @ 2005-01-22T21:27:00

2005-01-23T02:40:50Z

there is so much newness in my life, sometimes it's hard to put it into words.
except that's what i am. a writer.
someone who takes experiences and feelings and thoughts and ideas and puts them onto paper.

so i guess what i am trying to say, is, why don't i update anymore?
more importantly, why don't i write in my own journal anymore?

i seem to have lost touch. with many more things, and people, than just this livejournal...
this usually public, sometimes not-so-public, place to write and confide about my life.
my life, which i am starting to realize,
is a tipsy-topsy, under-over, zippity-do-dah, kind of life.

it's like the natural high you get when you run
in the frigid cold cold cold wind of New England's finest winter
in nothing more than jeans and a jacket and a thin pair of socks
and you realize
that you are doing something you probably shouldn't be doing,
something that will probably hurt you in the long run,
but you do it anyway. because you've got a best friend by your side
a smile on your face,
and a giddy feeling in your heart-

the memory will last a lot longer than the cold will.

laura27 @ 2004-08-01T01:02:00

2004-08-01T05:06:03Z

so tomorrow...err, technically speaking, today...i'm going to cape cod for two weeks.

yeah.

you'll realize that i don't like to spend my summers in connecticut.

bye darlings!

p.s. make sure we do something when i get back, but it has to be in the four day increment between my coming back and my leaving because then i leave to go to arizona!

dag! (patent: claire bogart)

laura27 @ 2004-07-26T00:47:00

2004-07-26T04:52:39Z

dude, summer started tonight.
i know, a little late. but from london and my one week recuperation period, well, the real summer just was kind of an inconvenienve. but finally, friends and fun and fondue. minus the last one.
ANYWAY, what i'm trying to say is that abby was amazing in her play. and that i was really proud of her.

so of course london was amazing. LONDON. coming back to hamden, ct, was not pretty, folks. NOT PRETTY. but really, probably the coolest thing about my london trip was the interview with cecilly von leewohoneodfkdof or whatever her last name is. you know, the author of GOSSIP GIRL. of course that's not her real name, but if i told you that, i'd have to kill you. so she was just amazing and of course i got her autograph. also just a little treat for you guys, because you know i love you so...

p.s. hahahahahahahahahahahahaabbyahahahahahmadeleinehahahahahahahhah

laura27 @ 2004-07-09T18:09:00

2004-07-09T17:14:19Z

guys, i'm never coming back from london.
so bye now.

p.s. katie, i need to tell you everything about this wonderful city! it's amazing!

laura27 @ 2004-06-24T20:33:00

2004-06-25T00:39:41Z

CAN I PLEASE JUST TALK ABOUT HOW GORGEOUS MY BRAND NEW PRADA GLASSES AND KATE SPADE SUNGLASSES ARE?!

RIDICULOUSLY GORGEOUS IS HOW!

...thankyouverymuch.

british politician sex (what else?!)

2004-05-30T20:55:36Z

so i'm looking forward to summer. i mean, who isn't? seeing as it is crawling up our asses...ummm...i mean...i don't even know what i meant when i said that. it's close, is what i'm trying to say. i would insert all these countdowns until finals, last day of school, LONDON, CAPE COD, ARIZONA, but really i don't need numbers, because my mind's already there. i'm really psyced (why can i never spell these phpsy words right!?) for cape cod, i don't really know why, maybe because my other cousin erin will be there and my cousin adam is here now. (AMANDA, COME OVER AND MEET HIM!)

so the whole point of this pointless entry was to say that me and my mother and claire noble and my cousin will be watching love actually tonight and you're invited.

p.s. i totally agree with ashlee and leah about the whole british boy thing. we should completely forget these stupid american boys and their nonsense. you guys can come in my suitcase to london where we will sneak out in the middle of the night and find gorgeous boys like the actor who plays oliver wood in harry potter and they will have accents and we will drool.

ON THE SUBJECT OF MY WEEKEND...

2004-05-09T21:24:59Z

...which began thursday evening thankyouverymuch to alex who brought me with him to the yale rep to see "the mystery plays." if you're looking for a haunting, very well acted, religious, funny, scary, brain-warming kinda show, go see it. like, now. i wish i brought something to record all the great lines in the show because i recall myself saying "wow, that's a great line" many times. yet, i do not recall the great lines. aksfjsdkjf memory.
and then it was friday and school was school and then REHEARSAL! err...i mean...PIZZA! friday night was supposed to be a girls night out with a giggly sleepover party and grape squashing and dancing around in our underwear but it turned into 15 of us eating broccoli pizza at whatever that place is in the hamden plaza. then janessa was like ICE CREAM! and so we decided that since we were out of money, we would have to accomplish the getting ice cream into our stomachs in a very stealthy way. because everyone knows that amanda and i are the queens of ice cream, we took it upon ourselves to go to shaw's and buy cheap, but extremely tastey, ice cream. i have to say that we performed the mission with flying colors. also we got all these looks from sketchy boys at shaw's and petco. we met the other girls in the courtyard of hamden high school. they had snuck into burger king and wendy's and grabbed plastic spoons. kerry also grabbed cream?!? we dug into the goods, bonding over girl talk and calories. mr. iezzi walked by a couple times, giving us puzzling looks. and, of course, then, we all started throwing ice cream at each other. i mean, what else happens when you put estrogen, dairy products, and plastic spoons together?

i wish i had my camera. it was so much fun. thanks for a great night, girls.
so, saturday i slept til about 11. got up, went to crew, where i accompanied the lovely scenic crew in organizing ticket orders and painting. much fun. at about 4, i split like a banana, but not after i had a very interesting conversation with aaron about boy bands.
i grabbed my camera, book, and went to katherine's house where we went to the farming and painted. (pictures at the end of this entry)

oh today, oh sunday, oh day of intermittent sunshine and rain, day of SO MUCH FREAKING HOMEWORK! i listened to alanis morisette, did one set of notes, listened to coldplay, did another set of notes, listened to weezer, then realized it made me think of florida and made me want to dance spastically, so i just did my third set of notes with no music. and i still have to do my fourth set of notes. oh, boy.

isn't it beautiful?

we painted. and i also read, this really good book, Kissing the Rain by Kevin Brooks.

oh, katherine. hahaha.

meeee

kern.

my favorite picture

oh yeah, katherine's sister snook had tadpoles. crazy.

hey, sometimes we all get a little down

2004-05-03T22:18:23Z

on those days, when it's raining and everything's wet and your hair never looked this bad. on those days, when you know you haven't laughed enough and you wished someone cared. on those days, when all you want to do is sleep....and sleep...and sleep.... that's florida. i want to be there now. want to run away with me? like, now?

after (instead of) crew...we flew a kite!

2004-05-02T19:52:16Z

we got this beautiful kite from walgreen's. and put it together. with the aid of some duct tape. and named it Kamikaze I.

but it didn't work when we tried to fly it. so we got in amanda's car and i held the string and she FLOORED IT. that's ean running in the background.

it was flying, baby.

oh wow.

but then it started to go down.

AND THEN IT GOT CAUGHT IN A TREE!

we will always remember you, Kamikaze I. rest in peace.

and then we made a new kite. with no directions or plastic pieces. just chris buldoc. we called it Kamikaze II. it didn't work as well.

everyone was watching.

Kamikaze II just couldn't replace Kamikaze I. poor baby. oh well, it was a blast anyways.